Journal #17

Journal #17-from chapter 17 Overall, this is the last chapter of the book. This shows the true desire of how willing Levi was to survive the life in a concentration camp with others. Having to live with fear and no hope for many years must have been miserable. Freedom and going home must have brought happiness, but at the same time Levi must have felt fear. You have lived in the concentration camp for so long that you no longer even know who you are. You start to worry how you would survive after leaving the camp. Your life must be better leaving the camp, but you are use to living the life in the concentration camp. At some point you were ashamed of your breed, ashamed that you were a Jew. However, as you lived in the concentration camp, you learned to be a man. A man without any hope. A man who desire you live, but at the same time who wishes to be gone in this world. From the overall book, I am able to view each chapter differently. Each chapter taught me a different lesson and allowed me to put myself as a Jew. I think each chapter had a purpose to show a different life style. However, overall I really think that this book was trying to show that even though many people are different from race, religion, and breed we are all equal. Humans are cruel, but we are all equally cruel. The only difference in humans are that we have different views and these views affect our lives. We should make a change in the world rather than separating others from the world. We should help others that are different from us and share our love rather than discriminating them. Levi was successful to show the main theme and make people believe that they actually lived in the concentration camp.

Journal #16

Journal #16-from chapter 16 "To destroy a man is difficult, almost as difficult as to create one: it had not been easy, nor quick, but you Germans have succeeded." Through out the chapters, there are many significant quotes and passages. However, while reading each chapter I always came to a quote or passage that would allow me to relate myself to a Jew. By placing myself as a Jew allowed me to think and view the Germans. Overall from history it can be seen that Germans were successful in destroying the Jews. Jews were not favored among the people and many countries disliked Jews as well. This quote was significant because the Jews are admitting that the Germans were successful in destroying them. It is difficult to destroy any man kind, but the Germans were successful in destroying the lives of Jews. The Germans were able to make the Jews feel hopeless and useless in this world. It took time for the Germans to take power over the Jews, but they were successful. I think this shows as a Jew that they gave up hope and are admitting that the Germans defeated them. I think it is hard to make a conclusion that the Germans were the only ones that destroyed the Jews in man kind. Even other nations, such as Canada and United States did nothing to prevent the Germans from destroying the Jews. Canada and United States tried to hide the genocide of Jews from the society. No one really took action to save the Jews. As the United States entered the World War II, they could have bombed railroads that led to gas chambers and saved many Jew lives, but they never took action. It can be seen that the Germans are the ones to blame for many deaths, but other countries did not try to save the Jews as well. Overall, even though the Germans destroyed the Jew, other countries as well destroyed the Jews by not taking any action to save the Jews.

Journal #15

Journal #15-from chapter 15 "Faced with the girls of the laboratory, we three feel ourselves sink into the ground from shame and embarrassment. We know what we look like: we see each other and sometimes we happen to see our reflection in a clean window. We have a swollen and yellow face, marked permanently by the cuts made by the hasty barber,and often by bruises and numbed sores; our neck is long and knobbly, like that of plucked chickens. Our clothes are incredibly dirty, stained by mud, grease and blood. Our wooden shoes are insupportably noisy and are plastered with alternate layers of mud and regulation grease." " They never speak to us and turn up their noses when they see us shuffling across the laboratory, squalid and filthy, awkward and insecure in our shoes." "I once asked Fraulein Liczba for some information, and she did not reply but turned with an annoyed face to Stawinoga and spoke to him quickly. I did not understand the sentence, but I clearly grasped 'Stink-jude' and my blood froze." Having to be a Jewish man and living in a concentration camp would not only be miserable, but shameful as a man. You know that you do not look like the person you use to be, but rather look as a corpse. You see a stranger in the window reflection who is you. Your looks do not matter anymore. There are no woman or people to impress. Only hunger takes over your thought. Your body is now skinny as a skeleton and light as a feather from hunger. However, once you face the German girls in the laboratory, you feel embarrassed from your looks. You look dirty, skinny, bruised, and uncivilized. The old good look is gone. To the Germans, you are only seen as a slave or skinny looking Jew that no longer is needed in this world. To Germans, all Jews should be vanished for they are uncivilized and dirty. They ignore you and stare at you making you feel unsecured. All you want to do is hide in the corner and wait for the three German girls in the laboratory to go home. They talk about you. They talk how you look and how filthy you are among each other. You rather wish that these girls would show some sympathy, but they are Germans. To the Germans, all Jewish are equal. To them, you are a filthy and dirty human. You ask questions, but they ignore you. They act as if you are invisible. You know that they do not want you here. You start to miss the old you. The old person who use to live with a loving family and who used to be successful. You wonder why you never had been thankful back than. You wish that if you had to make one wish that you can go back into the past and do things over gain. Now, you are a Jew and nothing can change the fact that you are a Jew. You do not understand German fluently, but you understand or know when they are talking about you. The one word "Stink-jude" strikes you. Having to be a Jew seems to be such a crime in this world. You are now separated from the real world because you are a Jew. You are not a murderer or did any crime in this world, but because you are a Jew you live in a separate world. You wonder often is being a Jew such a crime??? But, I am a Jew and I can do nothing about it....I can only wait to survive in this life. I am a Jew and life is different. One simple word "Jew" makes a difference in who you are. From the quotes and passage above, I was able to make a prediction or think as if I was Levi.

Journal #14

Journal #14-from chapter 14

"I told him that I had dreamt that I was at home, the home where I was born, with my family, sitting with my legs under the table, and on the table was a great deal, a very great deal to eat."

Every person in the concentration camp would think and dream about food. Food they use to eat at home. The word home is another place people in the concentration camp want to go. Even if I was a Jew living in a concentration camp, all I would do is think of a happy warm meal I had in the past. Only if I knew that this was my last meal, I would have eaten a great amount and never complain about the food. My bad food habits would no longer exist. I would no longer complain to my mother how greasy or bad her food taste. I would thankfully eat her food. Memories of home is coming back to me. The home where I was born. The home I had so many happy moments. Usually, all I can remember is when my family gather around the big round table and eat a great deal of food. My mouth waters as I think of the food my mother use to make. Sometimes....I wonder whether my mother is still living. When I return home, who will make my dinner? Would I be able to have eat a large amount of food? Home and food are only in my mind. I am home and eating a large amount of food only in my dreams. Dreams is such a wonderful place and you only wish that dreams can come true. Memories as well makes you alive. Thinking about your home and family brings happiness and sadness at the sometimes. Sometimes you wish your memories would vanish, but memories cannot be erased. Memories are kept to be. Memories of your home only makes you homesick. Memories are sometimes known to be your worst enemy in concentration camps.

From this passage I am able to relate myself as a Jew. I can also relate to myself. When I went away from my parents and home for a month to study in the United States, I became homesick. I missed my mom terribly and missed the food she use to make me. However, most of all I miss my parent's love. I missed my bed that I use to sleep in and memories of my family and house eventually made me cry at nights for days. Thinking of having to be forced out of my house and having to live in a concentration camp would make my life miserable. I would be homesick and miss everything in my home. Even when I was away from my home, I didn't feel safe or comfortable. When I am home, I feel safe and warm. I think for everyone, the only place you can feel safe and the only place that is filled with a lot of love is home. I can understand why the Jews think and dream about home so much.

Journal #13

Journal #13-from chapter 13 "Just as our hunger is not that feeling of missing a meal, so our way of being cold has need of a new world. We say 'hunger', we say 'tiredness', 'fear', 'pain', we say 'winter' and they are different things. They are free words, created and used by free men who lived in comfort and suffering in their homes" I think that living in a concentration camp made the Jews realized how simple words as "hunger", "tiredness", "fear", "pain", and "winter" affects their lives. Simple words that was never important in the past. Never did anyone imagine that those simple words are painful in reality. Those five simple words can explain the life in a concentration camp. By those simple words are the only communication needed in the concentration camp. When the Jews use to live as a free man, they used these words with comfort and without any suffering. However, once they entered the concentration camp those words are so hard and painful to say. Once you say one of these words, you actually feel the hunger, the tiredness, the pain, the fear, and the coldness of winter. You now begin to hate these five simple words. You also begin to feel the hunger and cold you never felt in your past life. Sometimes, you regret how you were never thankful with your past life. You only wish that you can live your old life gracefully. Living in a different life style makes you look at things or percept things differently. As I entered Korean school, I began to see a different style of studying and a great amount. It wasn’t easy to adapt to the Korean study system and I was miserable for months, because I didn’t understand a single word in Korean. Even though my experience isn’t as harsh or painful as the Jews, I can see myself how difficult it is to live a different life from your past. What is worse is that your past life is so much better than your present life. Living in a concentration camp is living as hell and your past life of living in home is like living in heaven. You regret many things in the past and dream about the past. However, overall you are a Jew and must face the fact that you are living in a concentration camp. Those simple five words: “hunger”, “tiredness”, “pain”, “fear”, and “winter” is your life in a concentration camp.

Journal #12

Journal #12-from chapter 12 "They hear us speak in many different languages, which they do not understand and which sound to them as grotesque as animal noises; they see us reduced to ignoble slavery, without hair, without honour and without names, beaten every day, more abject every day, and they never see in our eyes a light of rebellion, or of peace, or of faith" When I read this passage, I felt great sympathy towards the Jews. I sometime wonder how cruel humans can be. Even if I were a German, I think it would be difficult to treat other people in such cruel manner. However, if I were a Jew at that time, I would exactly know and feel the same as the passage above. The Jews are gathered in one concentration camps, but are from different countries. Everyone speaks a different language, but the Germans do not bother to understand. The Germans only care about their language and culture. To them, the Jewish are animals. The language the Jewish speak are just animal noise. The appearance of the Jews are slave like. The Jews are basically slaves to the Germans. Only useful slaves are kept a live, while the worthless ones are killed. Every day, more labor, beating, and hunger is in a Jew's life. Hope disappears in a person's eyes. You no longer see anyone in their eye. The Jews are hopeless and exhausted. The Germans can see that through no hope they have no faith, peace, or even try a rebellion. The Germans are successful in making a person feel useless. As the Jews are useless to them, the Jews are starting to feel as if they are worthless. Living in a concentration camp is hopeless that you have no faith or peace. You have no strength to even think. Your body does not try to rebel, but only dream of being at home. Having to be a dream seems such a crime..... I think in this world, we need to show equal love to everyone. Wealth, looks, and smartness does not matter. Making a person feel hopeless without any peace and faith seems more cruel than ever. Sometimes, it seems to be true that humans are the most evil living creature on earth......

Journal #11

Journal #11-chapter 11 ' Think of your breed; for brutish ignorance Your mettle was not made; you were made men, To follow after knowledge and excellence.' As if I also was hearing it for the first time: like the blast of a trumpet, like the voice of God. For a moment I forget who I am and where I am I'm not 100% sure what the quote means, but I think I have an understanding of it. I think the quote above is showing the significance or showing Levi not to be shameful for who he is. Levi and many other Jews may have been upset or felt shameful of being a Jew. They may have wished that they were never born in a Jewish family. However, I think this quote is trying to explain that where you come from or which family you are from does not matter. For this case, it does not matter if you are a Jew or if you are born in a Jewish breed. All men are born equal and loved as others. As Levi and many other are men, they should not give up, but stand strong as a man with knowledge and excellence. To the Germans, they may look different, but in reality they are all men. Appearance or who you are does not separate from who you are. So even if you are Jewish, does not mean that you are not a man with knowledge or excellence. Even as a Jew, you are a man with knowledge and excellence. This may have touched many Jews for doubting and feeling shameful for being Jewish. However, by hearing this quote may have gave self confidence and made many Jews realize that they are still men. They may be men without hope or men who are separated from the real world, but still they are equal men as the others with knowledge and excellence. This quote was touching to me. I would feel hope if I listened to this quote. Basically, I think this quote or chapter is trying to show that everyone is equal even though they don't feel like it. They may come from different background, religion, or breed, but overall, we are all equal humans.

Journal #10

Journal #10-from chapter 10 This time it really is my turn. Alex looks at me blackly on the doorstep; he feels himself in some way responsible for my miserable appearance. He dislikes me because I am Italian, because I am Jewish and because of all of us, I am the one furthest from his sergeants' mess ideal of virility. By analogy, without understanding anything, and proud of this very ignorance, he shows a profound disbelief in my chances for the examination. This passage clearly shows how the SS and Germans felt towards the Jewish. Not only did they dislike Levi because he was Italian, but because he was a Jew as well. Levi was hated by the Germans. Alex feels embarrassed by the Jews appearance, even though he is not a Jew himself. Alex feels as if it his responsibility of how the Jews look. If he is so shameful of the Jews it is understandable how he responds to a Jew. Having to be a SS or German at this time can show how they think of a Jew. You think that the SS or Germans would feel any sympathy when they see the treatments the Jews are going through, but they believe it is necessary. To the Germans, all Jews are dirty, filthy, uncivilized humans. When I think about it, even people now days are like the Germans or the SS. Many people ignore the poor or homeless people on the streets. Sometimes, people even feel embarrassed and push away the homeless people when they beg for money. When a ragged or poor person approaches us, we try to avoid or run away from that person. We think that the ragged or homeless person is dirty and filthy. The only difference from the SS and people now days are that we feel some sympathy for the poor. However, even though we feel sympathy towards the poor, not many people take action. I think it is unmoral for us to say how bad the SS and Germans are because in reality, every person is evil and sinful. We may have not done such a huge crime as the SS or Germans, but in God's view all sin is equal. The Jews were separated from the world because they were Jewish. However, now days we discriminate people based on their looks and wealth. I think as humans or Christians, we need to take an action and show equal love to all people. We should show love even to the filthy, dirty, and poor homeless people.

Journal #9

Journal #9-from chapter 9 At Auschwitz, in 1944, of the old Jewish prisoners (we will not speak of the others here, as their condition was different), 'kleine Nummer', low numbers less than 150,000, only a few hundred had survived; not one was an ordinary Haftling, vegetating in the ordinary Kommandos, and subsisting on the normal ration. There remained only the doctors, tailors, shoemakers, musicians, cooks, young attractive homosexuals, friends or compatriots of some authority in the camp; or they were particularly pitiless, vigorous and inhuman individuals. Everyone knew even the little children knew that once you left for Auschwitz you never were coming back. You die if you go to Auschwitz. As the war ended, many Jews had lost their lives. Only a very few survived compared to the dead. Even if the Jews survived, usually the SS and Germans kept Jews that were useful. Doctors, shoemakers, musicians,and cooks were helpful to the concentration camps and to the Germans. However, other Jews that remained to be pitiless had a higher change to be sent to Auschwitz or the gas chamber. Many Jews may have wished or tried to fake as if they were a doctor,shoemaker, or musician. From this passage, I am also able to see that some of the SS were homosexuals. Some SS were especially nice to good looking boys and the purpose was because they were homosexuals. During this time, I wondered how many Jews would have wished to have jobs such as a doctor or shoemaker. Other jobs such as a teacher was meaningless to the Germans and started to be meaningless to the Jews. If a pitiless Jew survived, it was a miracle and some Jews may have been thankful or felt joy at that time for not being sent to Auschwitz or the gas chamber. Overall from this passage, I am trying to show how little people survived from the concentration camps and how so many Jews were killed. Even the Jews that were kept alive must have felt guilty seeing their friends and family members die when they were useless to the Germans. However, at the same time the Jews that were kept alive must have been thankful or felt relief that they weren't going to die. I also don't understand how the Germans can kill so many Jews and only a few hundred survived in Auschwitz. How can the Germans not feel any sympathy towards the Jews? Even if they thought the killing was necessary don't the SS or Germans have families themselves? Didn't they feel upset or sad when they saw family members cry when they were separated and begged not to be sent to the gas chamber? What makes me more upset is no one tried to stop the killing. Especially the United States and Canada were both a great nation, but did nothing to help the Jews in Europe. If someone took action, not many Jews may have died. However, as humans, we wait for someone else to take action. For the world to change it is depended on our actions. It is very painful to see how many Jews died today. We should now even take action for countries that are communist or countries that need to be developed. By your action a whole nation can be changed....

Journal #8

Journal #8-from chapter 8 In conclusion: theft in Buna, punished by the civil direction, is authorized and encouraged by the SS; theft in camp, severely repressed by the SS, is considered by the civilians as a normal exchange operation; theft among Haftlinge is generally punished, but the punishment strikes the thief and the victim with equal gravity. We now invite the reader to contemplate the possible meaning in the Lager of the words 'good' and 'evil', 'just' and 'unjust'; let everybody judge, on the basis of the picture we have outlined and of the examples given above, how much of our ordinary moral world could survive on this side of the barbed wire. This chapter was rather confusing and hard to understand, but once I read the conclusion at the end of the chapter I started to have a clear understanding of what the author was trying to say. I think the author is trying to say that as the audience we have the judgement of what is good and evil in the Lager. Things such as stealing is unmoral in the ordinary world, but in the Lager there are different meanings of "good" and "evil". If one needs to steal, it was moral to steal in the Lager. Basically the words "good" and "evil", "just" and "unjust" were different from the real world once you entered the concentration camp. From the stories that I read, I am able to understand this situation. Having to live in a horrible place as a concentration camp you wouldn't have the energy or time to think what is "good" and "evil", "just" and "unjust". Living by the ordinary moral world is no way any Jew can survive. Even though it was difficult to survive living the ordinary moral way was difficult when you are full of hunger everyday and have nothing with you. Having nothing and trying to survive it is difficult to live a moral life. I would also not live a moral life if I lived in a concentration camp. From this passage, I can also see that for humans to survive in some conditions it is necessary not to live the ordinary moral way.

Journal #7

Journal #7-from chapter 7 Today is a good day. We look around like blind people who have recovered their sight, and we look at each other. We have never seen each other in sunlight:someone smiles. If it was not for the hunger! Today is a good day for the people, because it is the first time they see sunlight after coming to the concentration camp. Having warmth and being able to see each other from sunlight brings happiness to the Jews. Something so simple as sunlight makes people smile. However, even though they feel warm and happy, hunger does not go away. Hunger haunts them down and they only wish that the hunger would go away. So that as soon as the cold, which throughout the winter had seemed our only enemy, had ceased, we became aware of our hunger; and repeating the same error, we now say: 'If it was not for the hunger!...' The season winter is the enemy to the Jews. The Jews are already hungry, but being hungry and cold is a more pain in the neck. Their clothes are thin and ragged that they are nearly freezing to death. Coldness does not make the hunger go away, but makes the hunger worse. Having to be cold and hungry all day during the winter is like living in hell. But how could one imagine not being hungry? The Lager is hunger: we ourselves are hunger, living hunger. The Lager is a place for hunger. In Lager, you will always go hungry and there would be no Jew that is not hungry. The Jews live in hunger and will always live in hunger until they are freed from the concentration camps. All three passages talk about hunger. Even from the past chapters I was able to see how hungry the Jews were. The only thing that came to the mind of Jews was food. The Jews had to face hunger everyday and were living with hunger. The only thing that would stop Jews to be in hunger was to be freed from concentration camps and to be home. I can imagine that many people would have fought over food back then because everyone was hungry. Something simple as bread may have caused fights between the Jews. The Jews may have killed each other fighting over bread. Many may wonder if it was necessary to kill a man for bread, but when a man goes crazy over hunger he would do anything. He would even kill a man to have a piece of bread. By this, I am able to see how living with hunger is very painful. We should be thankful for the food we have instead of complaining. There are many people out there that having nothing to eat compared to us. Instead of waiting for the world to change, we can make a change in the world by helping the poor and hunger.

Journal #6

Journal #6-from chapter 6 Behind the barely-closed eyelids, dreams break out violently, the usual dreams. To be at home, in a wonderfully hot bath. To be at home, seated at a table. To be at home, and tell the story of this hopeless work ours, of this never-ending hunger, of the slave's way of sleeping.

Home is where everyone feels safe and is a place filled with love. When you think of home you think of your family having a nice warm dinner while sharing laughter and talking about your day. However, once you enter the concentration camp the world changes. No longer is there the word "family" or "home" in the concentration camp. Families are separated and soon loved ones are gone in this world. Throughout hardships you have people who guide you and make you feel safe, but now you have no one. You are left alone and most survive by yourself. Everyday is exhausting and you are hungry, but once you enter the dream world, you are at home. The place you wanted to be forever. You all wish that you are in a horrible dream in the concentration camp and one day you would wake up and wonder how odd your dream is. As you imagine that you are back home you tell your story about the labor, hunger, and tiredness you went through. Only your family would understand you. You only wish, but in reality you are living in this hell....you only wish that you are at home. However, now you know that you are only at home when you are dreaming....dreaming is as if you are in heaven. Home is heaven to you....

From this journal I am able to see and act as if I am a real Jew in this situation. This is exactly how I would have felt and say how others who are in the same situation as me would have felt. I also am trying to make other people see and feel the same way I felt after reading this quote.

Journal #5

Journal #5-from chapter 5 A day begins like every day, so long as not to allow us reasonably to conceive its end, so much cold, so much hunger, so much exhaustion separate us from it:so that it is better to concentrate one's attention and desires on the block of grey bread, which is small but which will certainly be ours in an hour, and which for five minutes, until we have devoured it, will form everything that the law of the place allows us to possess. From this passage, I am able to see how something so simple as bread brings happiness and allows the Jews to forget their exhaustion and coldness. This passage also shows how every morning was exhausted and the same. Living with cold, hunger, and exhaustion every day would have been like living in hell. If I had to live in this condition, I would always think of home and would rather die than having to survive in this condition. However, even if I was a Jew, I would always be so happy when I received my bread. The moment I received my bread, I would savor every bite and forget that I was cold and exhausted. Before people lived in concentration camps, many Jews would probably never thought that something so little and simple can bring happiness. Even now there are countries that are still undeveloped such as the Philippines and Cambodia. When I went on a mission trip to these countries it struck me that I had so much compared to the people in Philippines and Cambodia. Even though I had so many things compared to the people, I always complained and wanted more. By going to a mission trip, I was able to see how thankful I should be and my warm love that was so simple brought happiness to people in Cambodia and the Philippines. I think people should be thankful for what they have because there are other people out there that have nothing. This book is about survival, but it also shows a lesson in life.

Journal #4

Journal #4- from chapter 4

From chapter 4, I felt that there were many significant quotes and some quotes that were really touching. I picked out a couple of quotes, but I'm just going to explain briefly why I think these quotes are significant in this chapter.

We have never seen its boundaries, but we feel all around us the evil presence of the barbed wire that separates us from the world (pg 42).

This quote explains how the Jews felt as if they were living in a different world. They even felt as if they were separated from the real world. The concentration camps were a totally different life from the real world and from the past life the Jews use to live in. The concentration camps made the Jews feel as if they lived in hell.

'Heimweh' the Germans call this pain; it is a beautiful word, it means 'longing for one's home' (pg 55).

From this quote I was able to see how the Jews were longing to go to one's home. Each Jew wished or dreamed that they were back home. The lack of food and horrible conditions in the concentration camps only made the Jews wish they were back home. Home was a place that was safe, no hunger, and where the loved ones were still a live. As the Jews thought that "heimweh" was a beautiful word, this can show how desperate the Jews were to go home.

We know where we come from; the memories of the world outside crowd our sleeping and our waking hours, we become aware, with amazement, that we have forgotten nothing, every memory evoked rises in front of us painfully clear(pg 55).

I felt that this quotes was telling that no matter how hard and hungry the Jews were, they could not forget the place called "home". When they went through hardship, memories of the passed of peace and happiness kept rising. As loved ones were gone, memories of them kept rising causing pain and loneliness.

But where we are going we do not know. We will perhaps be able to survive the illnesses and escape the selections, perhaps even resist the work and hunger which wear us out-but then, afterwards? Here, momentarily far away from the curses and the blows, we can re-enter into ourselves and meditate, and then it becomes clear that we will not return (pg55).

I think this quote can explain how many Jews felt. They couldn't predict of what would happen to them. They did not know where they would be going or if they would be able to survive this whole mess. Each Jews must lived with fear and not knowing what would happen to their lives. Having to always worry what would happen next eventually caused no hope in the concentartion camps. Only one would wish and try to survive....hope did not exist in concentration camps.

All four quotes have the same thing in common. All four quotes explains how life was like as a Jew. In my past journals, I made predictions of how Jews would have felt and through these quotes, my predictions were correct. Living as a Jew at this time must have been very difficult as I predicted. This chapter is very well written to show a clear mind of how a Jew felt and thought during hardships in concentration camps.

Journal #3

Journal #3-from chapter 3 We are slaves, deprived of every right, exposed to every insult, condemned to certain death, but we still possess one power, and must defend it with all our strength for it is the last-the power to refuse our consent. I honestly didn't understand chapter 3 or felt the same as chapter 1 and 2. However, as I continued to read, I came across this passage. Out of all the quotes and passages, I think this passage shows hope. As I said in my past diaries that if I was a Jew I would have no hope and there would be no point of doing anything, but this passage proved me wrong. I expected that most Jews would have already given up their lives, but one man, Steinlauf changed my views. Unlike Levi, Steinlauf washed himself and kept himself clean. Instead of thinking that all these things was a waste of energy and thinking that we will all die, we are all about to die, Steinlauf believed that even if we die that the Jews should keep their pride and dignity. Giving up hope is the same as giving up to the SS and to the Germans. The Jews should be determined to live and refuse to give up so easily. Even if there was no hope in the camps, some people were actually willing to survive. To survive at this situation was a miracle, but even if the Jews had to go through hard labor and live as a slave, giving up was not accepted to Steinlauf. Steinlauf believed that he had power to his life, not the SS or the Germans. He was going to refuse the SS or the Germans to take his power and leave him hopeless. I think this made me think different if I was a Jew. If I was Levi, I may think that Steinlauf was wasting his time and energy, but from Steinlauf I would be determined to live and not let the SS or the Germans take my life.

Journal #2

Journal #2- from Chapter 2 We Italians had decided to meet every Sunday evening in a corner of the Lager, but we stopped it at once, because it was too sad to count our numbers and find fewer each time, and to see each other ever more deformed and more squalid. And it was so tiring to walk those few steps and then, meeting each other, to remember and to think. It was better not to think. From this passage, not only are you able to see the hard ship the Jews went through, but you can feel as if you are in this situation. Every Sunday, the people you know, the people you grew up with, and the people you love are suddenly gone. One by one, familiar faces are gone and you are left a lone. When someone does not return or come to the corner of the Lager, you know that the person is either gone or sent to another concentration camp. You hope that the person is still living, but you know that hope does not exist here. As the number of people grow less, you wonder when it would be your turn to go and you feel a lone in this world. The hard labor and hunger changed everyone in the camp that it makes you depressed. Hunger and hard labor everyday makes you exhausted. You don't have the energy to walk, to think, or meet anyone. All you want to do is rest and eat. The most thing you want is to return to your home and family. By thinking, you began to know that the people you know and love are gone. Thinking makes you more depressed and makes you loose energy. The more you think, the more you want to go home and feel as if this place is hell. In the concentration camp it is better to be a zombie rather than living as a normal human. The only thing you wait is death..... From this short passage, I was able to think as a Jew and how I would have felt if I was in this situation. I would have felt lonely and depressed by seeing the people I know and the people I love die. I would have no hope and no longer would feel as if I existed. I would have no strength to do anything and would rather wait to be gone as the others. I would only wish to be back at home, but hope never exists in a place like this. The passage made me feel sad by what the Jews had to go through. I myself would have not tried to survive if I knew I had no one and I was a lone in this world....

Journal #1

Journal #1-from chapter 1 He is a strange guard, a German soldier bustling with arms. We do not see him because of the thick darkness, but we feel the hard contact every time that lurch of the lorry throws us all in a heap. At a certain point he switches on a pocket torch and instead of shouting threats of damnation at us, he asks us courteously, one by one, in German and in pidgin language, if we have any money or watches to give him, seeing that they will not be useful to us anymore. This is no order, no regulation: it is obvious that it is a small private initiative of our Charon. The matter stirs us to anger and laughter and brings relief. I think this passage is significant, because it shows how scared and relief the Jews were at times. The Jews can never predict what would happen to them, so they had to live in fear. The SS knew that the Jews would have no use if they had money or watches, so he would ask kindly, so the Jews would hand him what they have. Some Jews were upset by the fact that the SS took their possessions, but at the same time, they must have felt relieved that they weren't going to die. Many Jews would have predicted or believed that they would be killed soon, but knowing that the German SS only wanted their possession may have gave them joy. Some Jews may have believed that the it would be impossible to kill so many people without any mercy or feelings. The Jews may have doubt that they may all die and predict that they would go through hard labor. However, basically every Jew knew that they had no hope. From this passage, I was able to see how difficult it was to be a Jew at that time. Always having to worry what would happen next and having to live with fear at all times. If I was also a Jew at that time, I would also feel joy when I found out that I wouldn't die as I predicted. I would also hate to live a life not knowing what would happen next to me. When I begin to have hope, I may be gone in this world. It may have been difficult for the Jews to have hope in their life in concentration camps. Overall, there was no hope and even if there was hope it vanished like ashes.

Journal #0 entry

Journal #0 Entry: After watching the video of Auschwitz Through many books and documentaries, I was able to learn about concentration camps and how the Jews were treated. However, from watching the video Auschwitz, I realized how cruel humans are. Many people knew that once someone was sent to Auschwitz they were never coming back. Families were broken apart and children were left alone with no one to take care of them. As adults lied to the left alone children that they would be meeting their parents soon, the children knew the adults were lying. They would beg the adults to adopt them. I was dumbfounded to see how the children knew the truth. Even in that young age they knew that they were going to die and had no one to turn to. Most of all I was mad at the SS and German police. I wondered how these people could not see how cruel they were towards the Jews. They separated families and showed no mercy. What made me more upset was that one of the SS said he did not regret or felt sorry for what he had done. The SS felt no agony towards the Jews or did not try to show any sympathy when they saw people die or in pain. They felt that they were doing the right thing. The SS said he regretted for not spending more time with his family. What made me wonder was that if the SS had a family, he would know how painful it was to see your own family member die or be taken from you and he did nothing. How can people feel nothing when they were seeing how hurt and painful the Jews were going through? I was also very upset, how they used children and people for experiments. One German doctor used children, especially twins to study about genes. They would kill the twins at the same time and experiment on them. The doctor felt no sympathy for these children, but acted as if these children were his guinea pigs. By watching this movie I began to have a better understanding of what it was like to be a Jew and living in a concentration camp. I was able to see the agony and pain the Jews went through. God created humans to praise him, but through time, people changed. Humans are the most fearful and cruel creatures on earth. Hopefully, people changed and we can now live in the path God wants us too.