Journal #5

Journal #5-from chapter 5 A day begins like every day, so long as not to allow us reasonably to conceive its end, so much cold, so much hunger, so much exhaustion separate us from it:so that it is better to concentrate one's attention and desires on the block of grey bread, which is small but which will certainly be ours in an hour, and which for five minutes, until we have devoured it, will form everything that the law of the place allows us to possess. From this passage, I am able to see how something so simple as bread brings happiness and allows the Jews to forget their exhaustion and coldness. This passage also shows how every morning was exhausted and the same. Living with cold, hunger, and exhaustion every day would have been like living in hell. If I had to live in this condition, I would always think of home and would rather die than having to survive in this condition. However, even if I was a Jew, I would always be so happy when I received my bread. The moment I received my bread, I would savor every bite and forget that I was cold and exhausted. Before people lived in concentration camps, many Jews would probably never thought that something so little and simple can bring happiness. Even now there are countries that are still undeveloped such as the Philippines and Cambodia. When I went on a mission trip to these countries it struck me that I had so much compared to the people in Philippines and Cambodia. Even though I had so many things compared to the people, I always complained and wanted more. By going to a mission trip, I was able to see how thankful I should be and my warm love that was so simple brought happiness to people in Cambodia and the Philippines. I think people should be thankful for what they have because there are other people out there that have nothing. This book is about survival, but it also shows a lesson in life.

Journal #4

Journal #4- from chapter 4

From chapter 4, I felt that there were many significant quotes and some quotes that were really touching. I picked out a couple of quotes, but I'm just going to explain briefly why I think these quotes are significant in this chapter.

We have never seen its boundaries, but we feel all around us the evil presence of the barbed wire that separates us from the world (pg 42).

This quote explains how the Jews felt as if they were living in a different world. They even felt as if they were separated from the real world. The concentration camps were a totally different life from the real world and from the past life the Jews use to live in. The concentration camps made the Jews feel as if they lived in hell.

'Heimweh' the Germans call this pain; it is a beautiful word, it means 'longing for one's home' (pg 55).

From this quote I was able to see how the Jews were longing to go to one's home. Each Jew wished or dreamed that they were back home. The lack of food and horrible conditions in the concentration camps only made the Jews wish they were back home. Home was a place that was safe, no hunger, and where the loved ones were still a live. As the Jews thought that "heimweh" was a beautiful word, this can show how desperate the Jews were to go home.

We know where we come from; the memories of the world outside crowd our sleeping and our waking hours, we become aware, with amazement, that we have forgotten nothing, every memory evoked rises in front of us painfully clear(pg 55).

I felt that this quotes was telling that no matter how hard and hungry the Jews were, they could not forget the place called "home". When they went through hardship, memories of the passed of peace and happiness kept rising. As loved ones were gone, memories of them kept rising causing pain and loneliness.

But where we are going we do not know. We will perhaps be able to survive the illnesses and escape the selections, perhaps even resist the work and hunger which wear us out-but then, afterwards? Here, momentarily far away from the curses and the blows, we can re-enter into ourselves and meditate, and then it becomes clear that we will not return (pg55).

I think this quote can explain how many Jews felt. They couldn't predict of what would happen to them. They did not know where they would be going or if they would be able to survive this whole mess. Each Jews must lived with fear and not knowing what would happen to their lives. Having to always worry what would happen next eventually caused no hope in the concentartion camps. Only one would wish and try to survive....hope did not exist in concentration camps.

All four quotes have the same thing in common. All four quotes explains how life was like as a Jew. In my past journals, I made predictions of how Jews would have felt and through these quotes, my predictions were correct. Living as a Jew at this time must have been very difficult as I predicted. This chapter is very well written to show a clear mind of how a Jew felt and thought during hardships in concentration camps.

Journal #3

Journal #3-from chapter 3 We are slaves, deprived of every right, exposed to every insult, condemned to certain death, but we still possess one power, and must defend it with all our strength for it is the last-the power to refuse our consent. I honestly didn't understand chapter 3 or felt the same as chapter 1 and 2. However, as I continued to read, I came across this passage. Out of all the quotes and passages, I think this passage shows hope. As I said in my past diaries that if I was a Jew I would have no hope and there would be no point of doing anything, but this passage proved me wrong. I expected that most Jews would have already given up their lives, but one man, Steinlauf changed my views. Unlike Levi, Steinlauf washed himself and kept himself clean. Instead of thinking that all these things was a waste of energy and thinking that we will all die, we are all about to die, Steinlauf believed that even if we die that the Jews should keep their pride and dignity. Giving up hope is the same as giving up to the SS and to the Germans. The Jews should be determined to live and refuse to give up so easily. Even if there was no hope in the camps, some people were actually willing to survive. To survive at this situation was a miracle, but even if the Jews had to go through hard labor and live as a slave, giving up was not accepted to Steinlauf. Steinlauf believed that he had power to his life, not the SS or the Germans. He was going to refuse the SS or the Germans to take his power and leave him hopeless. I think this made me think different if I was a Jew. If I was Levi, I may think that Steinlauf was wasting his time and energy, but from Steinlauf I would be determined to live and not let the SS or the Germans take my life.

Journal #2

Journal #2- from Chapter 2 We Italians had decided to meet every Sunday evening in a corner of the Lager, but we stopped it at once, because it was too sad to count our numbers and find fewer each time, and to see each other ever more deformed and more squalid. And it was so tiring to walk those few steps and then, meeting each other, to remember and to think. It was better not to think. From this passage, not only are you able to see the hard ship the Jews went through, but you can feel as if you are in this situation. Every Sunday, the people you know, the people you grew up with, and the people you love are suddenly gone. One by one, familiar faces are gone and you are left a lone. When someone does not return or come to the corner of the Lager, you know that the person is either gone or sent to another concentration camp. You hope that the person is still living, but you know that hope does not exist here. As the number of people grow less, you wonder when it would be your turn to go and you feel a lone in this world. The hard labor and hunger changed everyone in the camp that it makes you depressed. Hunger and hard labor everyday makes you exhausted. You don't have the energy to walk, to think, or meet anyone. All you want to do is rest and eat. The most thing you want is to return to your home and family. By thinking, you began to know that the people you know and love are gone. Thinking makes you more depressed and makes you loose energy. The more you think, the more you want to go home and feel as if this place is hell. In the concentration camp it is better to be a zombie rather than living as a normal human. The only thing you wait is death..... From this short passage, I was able to think as a Jew and how I would have felt if I was in this situation. I would have felt lonely and depressed by seeing the people I know and the people I love die. I would have no hope and no longer would feel as if I existed. I would have no strength to do anything and would rather wait to be gone as the others. I would only wish to be back at home, but hope never exists in a place like this. The passage made me feel sad by what the Jews had to go through. I myself would have not tried to survive if I knew I had no one and I was a lone in this world....

Journal #1

Journal #1-from chapter 1 He is a strange guard, a German soldier bustling with arms. We do not see him because of the thick darkness, but we feel the hard contact every time that lurch of the lorry throws us all in a heap. At a certain point he switches on a pocket torch and instead of shouting threats of damnation at us, he asks us courteously, one by one, in German and in pidgin language, if we have any money or watches to give him, seeing that they will not be useful to us anymore. This is no order, no regulation: it is obvious that it is a small private initiative of our Charon. The matter stirs us to anger and laughter and brings relief. I think this passage is significant, because it shows how scared and relief the Jews were at times. The Jews can never predict what would happen to them, so they had to live in fear. The SS knew that the Jews would have no use if they had money or watches, so he would ask kindly, so the Jews would hand him what they have. Some Jews were upset by the fact that the SS took their possessions, but at the same time, they must have felt relieved that they weren't going to die. Many Jews would have predicted or believed that they would be killed soon, but knowing that the German SS only wanted their possession may have gave them joy. Some Jews may have believed that the it would be impossible to kill so many people without any mercy or feelings. The Jews may have doubt that they may all die and predict that they would go through hard labor. However, basically every Jew knew that they had no hope. From this passage, I was able to see how difficult it was to be a Jew at that time. Always having to worry what would happen next and having to live with fear at all times. If I was also a Jew at that time, I would also feel joy when I found out that I wouldn't die as I predicted. I would also hate to live a life not knowing what would happen next to me. When I begin to have hope, I may be gone in this world. It may have been difficult for the Jews to have hope in their life in concentration camps. Overall, there was no hope and even if there was hope it vanished like ashes.

Journal #0 entry

Journal #0 Entry: After watching the video of Auschwitz Through many books and documentaries, I was able to learn about concentration camps and how the Jews were treated. However, from watching the video Auschwitz, I realized how cruel humans are. Many people knew that once someone was sent to Auschwitz they were never coming back. Families were broken apart and children were left alone with no one to take care of them. As adults lied to the left alone children that they would be meeting their parents soon, the children knew the adults were lying. They would beg the adults to adopt them. I was dumbfounded to see how the children knew the truth. Even in that young age they knew that they were going to die and had no one to turn to. Most of all I was mad at the SS and German police. I wondered how these people could not see how cruel they were towards the Jews. They separated families and showed no mercy. What made me more upset was that one of the SS said he did not regret or felt sorry for what he had done. The SS felt no agony towards the Jews or did not try to show any sympathy when they saw people die or in pain. They felt that they were doing the right thing. The SS said he regretted for not spending more time with his family. What made me wonder was that if the SS had a family, he would know how painful it was to see your own family member die or be taken from you and he did nothing. How can people feel nothing when they were seeing how hurt and painful the Jews were going through? I was also very upset, how they used children and people for experiments. One German doctor used children, especially twins to study about genes. They would kill the twins at the same time and experiment on them. The doctor felt no sympathy for these children, but acted as if these children were his guinea pigs. By watching this movie I began to have a better understanding of what it was like to be a Jew and living in a concentration camp. I was able to see the agony and pain the Jews went through. God created humans to praise him, but through time, people changed. Humans are the most fearful and cruel creatures on earth. Hopefully, people changed and we can now live in the path God wants us too.