Journal #17

Journal #17-from chapter 17 Overall, this is the last chapter of the book. This shows the true desire of how willing Levi was to survive the life in a concentration camp with others. Having to live with fear and no hope for many years must have been miserable. Freedom and going home must have brought happiness, but at the same time Levi must have felt fear. You have lived in the concentration camp for so long that you no longer even know who you are. You start to worry how you would survive after leaving the camp. Your life must be better leaving the camp, but you are use to living the life in the concentration camp. At some point you were ashamed of your breed, ashamed that you were a Jew. However, as you lived in the concentration camp, you learned to be a man. A man without any hope. A man who desire you live, but at the same time who wishes to be gone in this world. From the overall book, I am able to view each chapter differently. Each chapter taught me a different lesson and allowed me to put myself as a Jew. I think each chapter had a purpose to show a different life style. However, overall I really think that this book was trying to show that even though many people are different from race, religion, and breed we are all equal. Humans are cruel, but we are all equally cruel. The only difference in humans are that we have different views and these views affect our lives. We should make a change in the world rather than separating others from the world. We should help others that are different from us and share our love rather than discriminating them. Levi was successful to show the main theme and make people believe that they actually lived in the concentration camp.

Journal #16

Journal #16-from chapter 16 "To destroy a man is difficult, almost as difficult as to create one: it had not been easy, nor quick, but you Germans have succeeded." Through out the chapters, there are many significant quotes and passages. However, while reading each chapter I always came to a quote or passage that would allow me to relate myself to a Jew. By placing myself as a Jew allowed me to think and view the Germans. Overall from history it can be seen that Germans were successful in destroying the Jews. Jews were not favored among the people and many countries disliked Jews as well. This quote was significant because the Jews are admitting that the Germans were successful in destroying them. It is difficult to destroy any man kind, but the Germans were successful in destroying the lives of Jews. The Germans were able to make the Jews feel hopeless and useless in this world. It took time for the Germans to take power over the Jews, but they were successful. I think this shows as a Jew that they gave up hope and are admitting that the Germans defeated them. I think it is hard to make a conclusion that the Germans were the only ones that destroyed the Jews in man kind. Even other nations, such as Canada and United States did nothing to prevent the Germans from destroying the Jews. Canada and United States tried to hide the genocide of Jews from the society. No one really took action to save the Jews. As the United States entered the World War II, they could have bombed railroads that led to gas chambers and saved many Jew lives, but they never took action. It can be seen that the Germans are the ones to blame for many deaths, but other countries did not try to save the Jews as well. Overall, even though the Germans destroyed the Jew, other countries as well destroyed the Jews by not taking any action to save the Jews.

Journal #15

Journal #15-from chapter 15 "Faced with the girls of the laboratory, we three feel ourselves sink into the ground from shame and embarrassment. We know what we look like: we see each other and sometimes we happen to see our reflection in a clean window. We have a swollen and yellow face, marked permanently by the cuts made by the hasty barber,and often by bruises and numbed sores; our neck is long and knobbly, like that of plucked chickens. Our clothes are incredibly dirty, stained by mud, grease and blood. Our wooden shoes are insupportably noisy and are plastered with alternate layers of mud and regulation grease." " They never speak to us and turn up their noses when they see us shuffling across the laboratory, squalid and filthy, awkward and insecure in our shoes." "I once asked Fraulein Liczba for some information, and she did not reply but turned with an annoyed face to Stawinoga and spoke to him quickly. I did not understand the sentence, but I clearly grasped 'Stink-jude' and my blood froze." Having to be a Jewish man and living in a concentration camp would not only be miserable, but shameful as a man. You know that you do not look like the person you use to be, but rather look as a corpse. You see a stranger in the window reflection who is you. Your looks do not matter anymore. There are no woman or people to impress. Only hunger takes over your thought. Your body is now skinny as a skeleton and light as a feather from hunger. However, once you face the German girls in the laboratory, you feel embarrassed from your looks. You look dirty, skinny, bruised, and uncivilized. The old good look is gone. To the Germans, you are only seen as a slave or skinny looking Jew that no longer is needed in this world. To Germans, all Jews should be vanished for they are uncivilized and dirty. They ignore you and stare at you making you feel unsecured. All you want to do is hide in the corner and wait for the three German girls in the laboratory to go home. They talk about you. They talk how you look and how filthy you are among each other. You rather wish that these girls would show some sympathy, but they are Germans. To the Germans, all Jewish are equal. To them, you are a filthy and dirty human. You ask questions, but they ignore you. They act as if you are invisible. You know that they do not want you here. You start to miss the old you. The old person who use to live with a loving family and who used to be successful. You wonder why you never had been thankful back than. You wish that if you had to make one wish that you can go back into the past and do things over gain. Now, you are a Jew and nothing can change the fact that you are a Jew. You do not understand German fluently, but you understand or know when they are talking about you. The one word "Stink-jude" strikes you. Having to be a Jew seems to be such a crime in this world. You are now separated from the real world because you are a Jew. You are not a murderer or did any crime in this world, but because you are a Jew you live in a separate world. You wonder often is being a Jew such a crime??? But, I am a Jew and I can do nothing about it....I can only wait to survive in this life. I am a Jew and life is different. One simple word "Jew" makes a difference in who you are. From the quotes and passage above, I was able to make a prediction or think as if I was Levi.

Journal #14

Journal #14-from chapter 14

"I told him that I had dreamt that I was at home, the home where I was born, with my family, sitting with my legs under the table, and on the table was a great deal, a very great deal to eat."

Every person in the concentration camp would think and dream about food. Food they use to eat at home. The word home is another place people in the concentration camp want to go. Even if I was a Jew living in a concentration camp, all I would do is think of a happy warm meal I had in the past. Only if I knew that this was my last meal, I would have eaten a great amount and never complain about the food. My bad food habits would no longer exist. I would no longer complain to my mother how greasy or bad her food taste. I would thankfully eat her food. Memories of home is coming back to me. The home where I was born. The home I had so many happy moments. Usually, all I can remember is when my family gather around the big round table and eat a great deal of food. My mouth waters as I think of the food my mother use to make. Sometimes....I wonder whether my mother is still living. When I return home, who will make my dinner? Would I be able to have eat a large amount of food? Home and food are only in my mind. I am home and eating a large amount of food only in my dreams. Dreams is such a wonderful place and you only wish that dreams can come true. Memories as well makes you alive. Thinking about your home and family brings happiness and sadness at the sometimes. Sometimes you wish your memories would vanish, but memories cannot be erased. Memories are kept to be. Memories of your home only makes you homesick. Memories are sometimes known to be your worst enemy in concentration camps.

From this passage I am able to relate myself as a Jew. I can also relate to myself. When I went away from my parents and home for a month to study in the United States, I became homesick. I missed my mom terribly and missed the food she use to make me. However, most of all I miss my parent's love. I missed my bed that I use to sleep in and memories of my family and house eventually made me cry at nights for days. Thinking of having to be forced out of my house and having to live in a concentration camp would make my life miserable. I would be homesick and miss everything in my home. Even when I was away from my home, I didn't feel safe or comfortable. When I am home, I feel safe and warm. I think for everyone, the only place you can feel safe and the only place that is filled with a lot of love is home. I can understand why the Jews think and dream about home so much.

Journal #13

Journal #13-from chapter 13 "Just as our hunger is not that feeling of missing a meal, so our way of being cold has need of a new world. We say 'hunger', we say 'tiredness', 'fear', 'pain', we say 'winter' and they are different things. They are free words, created and used by free men who lived in comfort and suffering in their homes" I think that living in a concentration camp made the Jews realized how simple words as "hunger", "tiredness", "fear", "pain", and "winter" affects their lives. Simple words that was never important in the past. Never did anyone imagine that those simple words are painful in reality. Those five simple words can explain the life in a concentration camp. By those simple words are the only communication needed in the concentration camp. When the Jews use to live as a free man, they used these words with comfort and without any suffering. However, once they entered the concentration camp those words are so hard and painful to say. Once you say one of these words, you actually feel the hunger, the tiredness, the pain, the fear, and the coldness of winter. You now begin to hate these five simple words. You also begin to feel the hunger and cold you never felt in your past life. Sometimes, you regret how you were never thankful with your past life. You only wish that you can live your old life gracefully. Living in a different life style makes you look at things or percept things differently. As I entered Korean school, I began to see a different style of studying and a great amount. It wasn’t easy to adapt to the Korean study system and I was miserable for months, because I didn’t understand a single word in Korean. Even though my experience isn’t as harsh or painful as the Jews, I can see myself how difficult it is to live a different life from your past. What is worse is that your past life is so much better than your present life. Living in a concentration camp is living as hell and your past life of living in home is like living in heaven. You regret many things in the past and dream about the past. However, overall you are a Jew and must face the fact that you are living in a concentration camp. Those simple five words: “hunger”, “tiredness”, “pain”, “fear”, and “winter” is your life in a concentration camp.

Journal #12

Journal #12-from chapter 12 "They hear us speak in many different languages, which they do not understand and which sound to them as grotesque as animal noises; they see us reduced to ignoble slavery, without hair, without honour and without names, beaten every day, more abject every day, and they never see in our eyes a light of rebellion, or of peace, or of faith" When I read this passage, I felt great sympathy towards the Jews. I sometime wonder how cruel humans can be. Even if I were a German, I think it would be difficult to treat other people in such cruel manner. However, if I were a Jew at that time, I would exactly know and feel the same as the passage above. The Jews are gathered in one concentration camps, but are from different countries. Everyone speaks a different language, but the Germans do not bother to understand. The Germans only care about their language and culture. To them, the Jewish are animals. The language the Jewish speak are just animal noise. The appearance of the Jews are slave like. The Jews are basically slaves to the Germans. Only useful slaves are kept a live, while the worthless ones are killed. Every day, more labor, beating, and hunger is in a Jew's life. Hope disappears in a person's eyes. You no longer see anyone in their eye. The Jews are hopeless and exhausted. The Germans can see that through no hope they have no faith, peace, or even try a rebellion. The Germans are successful in making a person feel useless. As the Jews are useless to them, the Jews are starting to feel as if they are worthless. Living in a concentration camp is hopeless that you have no faith or peace. You have no strength to even think. Your body does not try to rebel, but only dream of being at home. Having to be a dream seems such a crime..... I think in this world, we need to show equal love to everyone. Wealth, looks, and smartness does not matter. Making a person feel hopeless without any peace and faith seems more cruel than ever. Sometimes, it seems to be true that humans are the most evil living creature on earth......

Journal #11

Journal #11-chapter 11 ' Think of your breed; for brutish ignorance Your mettle was not made; you were made men, To follow after knowledge and excellence.' As if I also was hearing it for the first time: like the blast of a trumpet, like the voice of God. For a moment I forget who I am and where I am I'm not 100% sure what the quote means, but I think I have an understanding of it. I think the quote above is showing the significance or showing Levi not to be shameful for who he is. Levi and many other Jews may have been upset or felt shameful of being a Jew. They may have wished that they were never born in a Jewish family. However, I think this quote is trying to explain that where you come from or which family you are from does not matter. For this case, it does not matter if you are a Jew or if you are born in a Jewish breed. All men are born equal and loved as others. As Levi and many other are men, they should not give up, but stand strong as a man with knowledge and excellence. To the Germans, they may look different, but in reality they are all men. Appearance or who you are does not separate from who you are. So even if you are Jewish, does not mean that you are not a man with knowledge or excellence. Even as a Jew, you are a man with knowledge and excellence. This may have touched many Jews for doubting and feeling shameful for being Jewish. However, by hearing this quote may have gave self confidence and made many Jews realize that they are still men. They may be men without hope or men who are separated from the real world, but still they are equal men as the others with knowledge and excellence. This quote was touching to me. I would feel hope if I listened to this quote. Basically, I think this quote or chapter is trying to show that everyone is equal even though they don't feel like it. They may come from different background, religion, or breed, but overall, we are all equal humans.

Journal #10

Journal #10-from chapter 10 This time it really is my turn. Alex looks at me blackly on the doorstep; he feels himself in some way responsible for my miserable appearance. He dislikes me because I am Italian, because I am Jewish and because of all of us, I am the one furthest from his sergeants' mess ideal of virility. By analogy, without understanding anything, and proud of this very ignorance, he shows a profound disbelief in my chances for the examination. This passage clearly shows how the SS and Germans felt towards the Jewish. Not only did they dislike Levi because he was Italian, but because he was a Jew as well. Levi was hated by the Germans. Alex feels embarrassed by the Jews appearance, even though he is not a Jew himself. Alex feels as if it his responsibility of how the Jews look. If he is so shameful of the Jews it is understandable how he responds to a Jew. Having to be a SS or German at this time can show how they think of a Jew. You think that the SS or Germans would feel any sympathy when they see the treatments the Jews are going through, but they believe it is necessary. To the Germans, all Jews are dirty, filthy, uncivilized humans. When I think about it, even people now days are like the Germans or the SS. Many people ignore the poor or homeless people on the streets. Sometimes, people even feel embarrassed and push away the homeless people when they beg for money. When a ragged or poor person approaches us, we try to avoid or run away from that person. We think that the ragged or homeless person is dirty and filthy. The only difference from the SS and people now days are that we feel some sympathy for the poor. However, even though we feel sympathy towards the poor, not many people take action. I think it is unmoral for us to say how bad the SS and Germans are because in reality, every person is evil and sinful. We may have not done such a huge crime as the SS or Germans, but in God's view all sin is equal. The Jews were separated from the world because they were Jewish. However, now days we discriminate people based on their looks and wealth. I think as humans or Christians, we need to take an action and show equal love to all people. We should show love even to the filthy, dirty, and poor homeless people.

Journal #9

Journal #9-from chapter 9 At Auschwitz, in 1944, of the old Jewish prisoners (we will not speak of the others here, as their condition was different), 'kleine Nummer', low numbers less than 150,000, only a few hundred had survived; not one was an ordinary Haftling, vegetating in the ordinary Kommandos, and subsisting on the normal ration. There remained only the doctors, tailors, shoemakers, musicians, cooks, young attractive homosexuals, friends or compatriots of some authority in the camp; or they were particularly pitiless, vigorous and inhuman individuals. Everyone knew even the little children knew that once you left for Auschwitz you never were coming back. You die if you go to Auschwitz. As the war ended, many Jews had lost their lives. Only a very few survived compared to the dead. Even if the Jews survived, usually the SS and Germans kept Jews that were useful. Doctors, shoemakers, musicians,and cooks were helpful to the concentration camps and to the Germans. However, other Jews that remained to be pitiless had a higher change to be sent to Auschwitz or the gas chamber. Many Jews may have wished or tried to fake as if they were a doctor,shoemaker, or musician. From this passage, I am also able to see that some of the SS were homosexuals. Some SS were especially nice to good looking boys and the purpose was because they were homosexuals. During this time, I wondered how many Jews would have wished to have jobs such as a doctor or shoemaker. Other jobs such as a teacher was meaningless to the Germans and started to be meaningless to the Jews. If a pitiless Jew survived, it was a miracle and some Jews may have been thankful or felt joy at that time for not being sent to Auschwitz or the gas chamber. Overall from this passage, I am trying to show how little people survived from the concentration camps and how so many Jews were killed. Even the Jews that were kept alive must have felt guilty seeing their friends and family members die when they were useless to the Germans. However, at the same time the Jews that were kept alive must have been thankful or felt relief that they weren't going to die. I also don't understand how the Germans can kill so many Jews and only a few hundred survived in Auschwitz. How can the Germans not feel any sympathy towards the Jews? Even if they thought the killing was necessary don't the SS or Germans have families themselves? Didn't they feel upset or sad when they saw family members cry when they were separated and begged not to be sent to the gas chamber? What makes me more upset is no one tried to stop the killing. Especially the United States and Canada were both a great nation, but did nothing to help the Jews in Europe. If someone took action, not many Jews may have died. However, as humans, we wait for someone else to take action. For the world to change it is depended on our actions. It is very painful to see how many Jews died today. We should now even take action for countries that are communist or countries that need to be developed. By your action a whole nation can be changed....

Journal #8

Journal #8-from chapter 8 In conclusion: theft in Buna, punished by the civil direction, is authorized and encouraged by the SS; theft in camp, severely repressed by the SS, is considered by the civilians as a normal exchange operation; theft among Haftlinge is generally punished, but the punishment strikes the thief and the victim with equal gravity. We now invite the reader to contemplate the possible meaning in the Lager of the words 'good' and 'evil', 'just' and 'unjust'; let everybody judge, on the basis of the picture we have outlined and of the examples given above, how much of our ordinary moral world could survive on this side of the barbed wire. This chapter was rather confusing and hard to understand, but once I read the conclusion at the end of the chapter I started to have a clear understanding of what the author was trying to say. I think the author is trying to say that as the audience we have the judgement of what is good and evil in the Lager. Things such as stealing is unmoral in the ordinary world, but in the Lager there are different meanings of "good" and "evil". If one needs to steal, it was moral to steal in the Lager. Basically the words "good" and "evil", "just" and "unjust" were different from the real world once you entered the concentration camp. From the stories that I read, I am able to understand this situation. Having to live in a horrible place as a concentration camp you wouldn't have the energy or time to think what is "good" and "evil", "just" and "unjust". Living by the ordinary moral world is no way any Jew can survive. Even though it was difficult to survive living the ordinary moral way was difficult when you are full of hunger everyday and have nothing with you. Having nothing and trying to survive it is difficult to live a moral life. I would also not live a moral life if I lived in a concentration camp. From this passage, I can also see that for humans to survive in some conditions it is necessary not to live the ordinary moral way.

Journal #7

Journal #7-from chapter 7 Today is a good day. We look around like blind people who have recovered their sight, and we look at each other. We have never seen each other in sunlight:someone smiles. If it was not for the hunger! Today is a good day for the people, because it is the first time they see sunlight after coming to the concentration camp. Having warmth and being able to see each other from sunlight brings happiness to the Jews. Something so simple as sunlight makes people smile. However, even though they feel warm and happy, hunger does not go away. Hunger haunts them down and they only wish that the hunger would go away. So that as soon as the cold, which throughout the winter had seemed our only enemy, had ceased, we became aware of our hunger; and repeating the same error, we now say: 'If it was not for the hunger!...' The season winter is the enemy to the Jews. The Jews are already hungry, but being hungry and cold is a more pain in the neck. Their clothes are thin and ragged that they are nearly freezing to death. Coldness does not make the hunger go away, but makes the hunger worse. Having to be cold and hungry all day during the winter is like living in hell. But how could one imagine not being hungry? The Lager is hunger: we ourselves are hunger, living hunger. The Lager is a place for hunger. In Lager, you will always go hungry and there would be no Jew that is not hungry. The Jews live in hunger and will always live in hunger until they are freed from the concentration camps. All three passages talk about hunger. Even from the past chapters I was able to see how hungry the Jews were. The only thing that came to the mind of Jews was food. The Jews had to face hunger everyday and were living with hunger. The only thing that would stop Jews to be in hunger was to be freed from concentration camps and to be home. I can imagine that many people would have fought over food back then because everyone was hungry. Something simple as bread may have caused fights between the Jews. The Jews may have killed each other fighting over bread. Many may wonder if it was necessary to kill a man for bread, but when a man goes crazy over hunger he would do anything. He would even kill a man to have a piece of bread. By this, I am able to see how living with hunger is very painful. We should be thankful for the food we have instead of complaining. There are many people out there that having nothing to eat compared to us. Instead of waiting for the world to change, we can make a change in the world by helping the poor and hunger.

Journal #6

Journal #6-from chapter 6 Behind the barely-closed eyelids, dreams break out violently, the usual dreams. To be at home, in a wonderfully hot bath. To be at home, seated at a table. To be at home, and tell the story of this hopeless work ours, of this never-ending hunger, of the slave's way of sleeping.

Home is where everyone feels safe and is a place filled with love. When you think of home you think of your family having a nice warm dinner while sharing laughter and talking about your day. However, once you enter the concentration camp the world changes. No longer is there the word "family" or "home" in the concentration camp. Families are separated and soon loved ones are gone in this world. Throughout hardships you have people who guide you and make you feel safe, but now you have no one. You are left alone and most survive by yourself. Everyday is exhausting and you are hungry, but once you enter the dream world, you are at home. The place you wanted to be forever. You all wish that you are in a horrible dream in the concentration camp and one day you would wake up and wonder how odd your dream is. As you imagine that you are back home you tell your story about the labor, hunger, and tiredness you went through. Only your family would understand you. You only wish, but in reality you are living in this hell....you only wish that you are at home. However, now you know that you are only at home when you are dreaming....dreaming is as if you are in heaven. Home is heaven to you....

From this journal I am able to see and act as if I am a real Jew in this situation. This is exactly how I would have felt and say how others who are in the same situation as me would have felt. I also am trying to make other people see and feel the same way I felt after reading this quote.